it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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