I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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