I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize