I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize