You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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