Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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