So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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