Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
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I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have aggressive nipples.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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