yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
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I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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