totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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