I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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