I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize