no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize