Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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