please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
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i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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