What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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