Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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