If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize