Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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