i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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