She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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