Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize