You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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