I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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