Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize