We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
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i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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