Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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  (248): Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore http://tfl.nu/16rg
  Replies (38) Good night (1319) Bad night (2162) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.

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  (203): im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty. (1-203): Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said. (203): Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/bpzi
  Replies (54) Good night (5167) Bad night (994)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.

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  (330): hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival. http://tfl.nu/kgpd
  Replies (9) Good night (4380) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

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  (404): on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you. (1-404): i can respect that. http://tfl.nu/fvjd
  Replies (14) Good night (4815) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  without a question

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  (860): I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox (1-860): without a question http://tfl.nu/lm2z
  Replies (10) Good night (4098) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.

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  (727): These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular. http://tfl.nu/78s0
  Replies (6) Good night (1246) Bad night (3370) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school

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  (217): I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school http://tfl.nu/0e3h
  Replies (10) Good night (4300) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  you have failed as an in class drinking partner.

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  (319): you have failed as an in class drinking partner. http://tfl.nu/gxe7
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night

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  (253): Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night http://tfl.nu/3m0v
  Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

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  (570): Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied. http://tfl.nu/2f2b
  Replies (12) Good night (2497) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.

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  (417): It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday. http://tfl.nu/s40o
  Replies (15) Good night (2262) Bad night (455)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.

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  (413): She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list. http://tfl.nu/zy3q
  Replies (5) Good night (392) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.

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  (610): I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them. http://tfl.nu/t18i
  Replies (6) Good night (956) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.

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  (650): That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands. http://tfl.nu/y7oo
  Replies (2) Good night (191) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Don't make emojis simulating eating me out

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  (913): Don't make emojis simulating eating me out http://tfl.nu/tdiy
  Replies (5) Good night (562) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt

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