Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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