I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
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He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
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So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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