dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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