Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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