just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize