the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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