Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize