Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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