just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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