Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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