Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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