The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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