Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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