I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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