Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize