We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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