would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize