The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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