it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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