Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
did i walk over a car last night?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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