Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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