I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize