you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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